youre not alone.

It's a shame things didn't work out with this guy I had a crush on. I still have my crush and while I wishhhh itd go somehwere , I know it won't. He's intrested , but not enough. How typical.
But while that is okay with me , this constant heartbreak is not. What burns the most , is that it's by the same person. The person who's supposed to love me most -
"I love you so much , you are the love of my Life! I <3 you"
[that's what he wrote to me]
now look at it all.
I wake up every morning with an instant heartache.
I go through my day , holding back each and every tear on the verge of falling.
And then at night , it all feels as though it gets worse.
It's hard to get to sleep , and even harder to awake.
My dreams are my safe haven <3
you're never there ,
so I know it's a break from all my aching.
Problem is , I have to wear myself out just to get to sleep.
I feel so alone. I need you by my side like you used to be. <3
I knew that once I started loving you , I'd never stop.
I gave myself to you.
Mind , soul , heart and body.
I can never take any of that back , nor do I want to.

Even though you still have that strong love ,
I feel like I love you more.
Why do I say this ?
Because you're hurting me. And you know it.
You might have good intentions for yourself ,
But not me it seems.
When you love someone , you're supposed to do whatever you can to make them happy. Even if they hurt you. You know I never meant to. And the part that kills me , is that you know I'm sorry. You know I want to make it up to you. But you say you've changed. So have I. That has nothing to do with "us". We will always be the same. Loving , caring , passionate , fun , amazing , PERFECT. <3

It was clear to me after two weeks that I loved you.
I fell for you so fast and I didn't hold back. I felt no reason to. I saw you for who you are and you saw exactly who I was.
We are still these people. We still love each other all the same as we did in the beginning.
I'll never be able to say I don't love you.
Because when you truly love someone , it's forevery sweetheart :,)

I just don't know how to go on.
How in the world can someone go on , when they've lost the perfection they once had.
I know that you're the one I'll always want , so what am I supposed to do now ..

I cry. Karen says it's okay. She says , "don't hold back any of your tears , just let them fall , because keeping them locked up inside is only gonna make the pain worse."
So you tell me , is it okay to cry every second of every day ?
Because if I'm not , I still feel like I am.
Every moment that passes , I can feel my heart breaking.
Itd be a little better to say it's already broken , because then I'd feel like soon enough it'll be put back together ,
But it's breaking more every day.
I've never felt so much aching in my heart.

So tell me , will I ever be better ?

<3.